The past month was too much. I’ll just put that out there.
First we moved house again. That actually went surprisingly well. We had help from a ton of friends and movers and got it all in one day. We’ve had to sink a distressing amount of money into the new place as it was missing some important stuff like a fridge and a washer/dryer, and we’ve had some mishaps, but overall we both love the new house. Still, moving is not fun, ever, and I already had emotional scar tissue from the last couple of moves, which were disasters to one degree or another.
A week after the move, my kitty Stella died. She was 17 years old and had lymphoma, which I didn’t discover until she stopped eating and there was nothing that would help her. I had to let my sweet old biddy go, and it’s been pretty damn devastating–plus there’s always the sense of, could I have done something better, was she happy, how much was she suffering all that time? Stella is the second cat I’ve lost to lymphoma and now I’m paranoid about Owen. Every noise he makes worries me, which is extra fun because now that Stella is gone he has taken it upon himself to be the noisy, yowly cat. Is he sad? Does he miss her? Does he understand what happened? Is he in pain?
(I’m not including her picture because seeing her still makes me choke up.)
There have been good things this month too, of course – as I said I love the new house, especially how my bedroom is shaping up. I’m hoping to get some nice pics to post once it’s all together.
Also last weekend I went with two of my favorite people to the Van Gogh: His Life in Art exhibit at the Houston Museum of Fine Art. It was insanely crowded, but the chance to stand in front of Irises and several dozen other works of Vincent’s was amazing. Standing there being jostled by this enormous crowd I thought of the Doctor Who episode about Van Gogh, and him standing in the modern gallery watching all these people marvel over his work and call him one of the greatest artists who ever lived. That episode remains one of my favorites.
This past weekend brought another fantastic event: I got to see Hamilton! Over a year ago, my longtime friend Julie posed a question: She had season tickets to Austin’s Broadway series, and since her husband wasn’t interested in Hamilton, did I want to be her plus one?
OH HELL AND FUCK YEAH I DID.
I’ve seen, shall we say, an unofficial video of most of the show on Broadway with the original cast, and while no other cast is ever going to top that one in my heart, just being there hearing the songs and seeing the rotating stage (my god the choreography with that thing is dizzying) and seeing the light cues…I think that qualifies as a Peak Experience.
So, as I said, the last month has been a LOT of everything. Some amazing highs, an awful low, insane levels of stress, and overall…I am exhausted. I’ve been on the verge of total burnout since the year started, to be honest, and while I’ve been holding my crap together reasonably (I think?) I’ve been about to unspool for a good month now. I’m getting up and going to work but I’m also sleeping a ton and eating utter crap, and my meditative practice has kind of…fizzled.
Remember how I lamented that it’s those times that you need your spiritual practice the most that it tends to go poof? Yeah. That.
Thus now that things are calming down a little and I’m feeling a bit better (a bit, I’m trying not to push it), I’m going to start over again, because that’s all I can do. I’ll be back on the Spiritual ReBeginning series of posts very soon.
In the meantime, here’s Tom Ellis from Lucifer reading thirst Tweets, because I love you. (Oh, and the new season of Lucifer on Netflix was fantastic – I loved it! I wish it had been longer and I really hope they get another season. Like immediately! *sigh*)Become my patron for exclusive online content and read new stories before anyone else!