Don't Feed After Midnight.
I’m not what you would call a “nice” person. (I always agreed with George Carlin about the word “nice.”) I tend to stick my foot in my mouth in spectacular fashion at least once a month, and stuff pops out of my mouth that slipped right past Ye Olde Bitch Filter. I have been known to hurt people – almost never on purpose – and like most of the human persuasion, I do unsavory things like carrying grudges and harboring resentments. I’ve been heard to gossip, to snark, and to be uncharitable.
There are, however, certain types of meanness I just don’t understand. Namely: trolling. I just don’t get it. I understand the pathology behind it – a desperate need for attention and a drive to create false self-esteem by destroying that of others – but I still don’t get what makes someone go on a blog or other site and spew click-by hatred at the author, other commenters, or entire groups of people…just for kicks.
Nine of ten trolls I’ve had over the years knew absolutely nothing about me, my writing, or anything else I’d ever said on my site; they chanced across a post of mine somewhere and decided they hated what I had to say enough to stop what they were doing and crap all over the comments. The best part is these attacks rarely have anything to do with the topic at hand, or if they do it’s only tangentially. The troll latches on to a particular turn of phrase or even a single word and uses it as a springboard for his or her ranting pleasure. You can practically hear the troll’s ego-boner swelling with every word.
Trolls, personal attacks disguised as reviews, and general mindless hatred are part of being a writer, but I don’t know if they’re a part I’ll ever be able to let roll off me. That’s one reason why I don’t usually post negative reviews of books or anything else; I know what it feels like to read them. Unless it’s something that leaves me outraged that I think might hurt others, I’m unlikely to come out and say I hate something here in a public blog or on a forum…especially when it comes to books, as I know firsthand how much blood, sweat, and tears go into the process and how much of a knife in the heart it can be to hear someone tear down your work. Like it, don’t like it; but don’t be a jerk about it. The author is probably listening.
Trust me on that. We Google ourselves.
Then again, it’s one thing to state your opinion – even a blistering one – about a written work or even a political agenda; it’s another beast entirely to show up on a forum or blog and just stir up trouble. I’ve known people who took great pride in going on religious forums and provoking fights. Typically it’s in the interest of some “truth” or “logic” that hides a secret superiority agenda. Perhaps it’s because I’m so nonconfrontational, but my reaction to such people has always been, “Um…what the hell is wrong with you?”
The anonymity of the internet is certainly a blessing; the ability to be heard regardless of physical appearance, gender, or even age is a huge benefit to a lot of people who would otherwise be lost in silence. You can find an audience, a platform, even a mate in the faceless landscape of cyberspace. I count myself among such people, as I have always been extremely insecure about my looks and painfully shy. Writing is how I communicate, and the internet has been a godsend to me. Meanwhile, there are so many people who use that anonymity as a weapon…and for what, exactly? What good does that sort of behavior really do anyone?
Wow, you came out of nowhere and said something cruel to someone you’ve never met and will never look in the face! You angered fifty people with your juvenile remarks! You’ve revealed your personal vendetta! Way to go, asshole! Is this the part where someone says, “What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities”? I doubt it. You’re hardly a hero.
As I said, I’m not a nice person. I’ve said mean things before and probably will again. But I do try, and will continue to try, to be mindful of who I might hurt with my words. When I’m ranting, I try to say outright that I am doing so and that my opinion shouldn’t be taken as gospel; even then I’ve been known to edit later once I re-read and realize I’ve been a jackass. Still, there’s no way to anticipate every time you’ll say the wrong thing and piss someone off. Typically I don’t go anywhere near forums (I can think of exactly one I’ve posted on in the last year), and I rarely comment on blogs except to give kudos or ask the occasional question. I don’t waste my time lurking around sites that irritate me or run counter to my beliefs, because I don’t like spending my life angry.
I think that’s the main thing that baffles me about trolling. Why live angry? Isn’t there enough real injustice in the world without bouncing around the internet looking for imaginary slights or starting wars? I’ve lived angry before, and it’s awful. It’s poisonous and exhausting and it makes life a furtive hell. I work very hard not to live that way, and though I’m not always successful, it’s not for lack of trying. I can’t imagine the time and energy wasted by people who apparently have nothing else in their lives but grudges and bile.
If you don’t like what someone has to say, you’ve got the freedom to mouse your ass anywhere else you please. It’s a big internet. If you think I’m a moron, don’t waste your time on me.
(Incidentally: I have a zero tolerance policy toward trolling. If I think for one minute that’s what you’re up to, I’ll delete your comments and ban you without warning or explanation.)
