(Soon to be replaced by a pic of my actual tamales)

There seem to be two basic kinds of folk who are willing to make tamales:

1.  Mexican grandmothers at Christmas
2.  Crazy people.

Tamales, those luscious nuggets of corn dough concealing a flavorful (and often searingly spicy) filling, wrapped in a  corn husk, are well known holiday fare here in Texas, where families gather together and start churning them out by the foil-wrapped dozen to sell to the drooling masses.  Every Christmas my father was on the receiving end of tamale gifts galore, as he had once helped a little old lady fix her driveway, and ever since, said lady (and now, her granddaughter) brings him tamales every year.

The problem with authentic Mexican tamales is that they tend to be made with lard and stuffed with…well, we’ll call it beef.  Tamales are a “don’t ask, don’t tell” experience.  Because they’re so delicious, you look the other way…or at least you do if you’re a meat-eater.  Vegetarian tamales tend to be some variation on bean and cheese, but most of the time the dough is still made with lard, so if you buy them in the store (a foreign concept to those of us who grew up in small Texas towns where tamales were plentiful) scrutinize the label carefully, unless you want to play Salmonella Roulette.

(I never once got sick off of homemade local tamales, no matter what was in them.  The only ones that have ever made my stomach revolt are store-bought mass produced ones.  Go figure.)

When I got my hands on a copy of Terry Hope Romero‘s Viva Vegan! which showcases Latin vegan cooking, I was thrilled to see an entire chapter devoted to tamale making.  I’d been wanting to give tamales a try for a long time, but was too lazy to devote an entire afternoon to such labor-intensive food.  Still, the book inspired me, and I almost offhandedly posted on Facebook that I wanted to make tamales this weekend.  As luck would have it, my dear Lorrie (the photographer who created the images of me you see on this site) volunteered to come sling tamales and drink Margaritas, which sounded like one hell of a great Saturday. Next thing I knew I was up to my eyeballs in masa dough and a couple of extra Witches who were in the neighborhood and came to lend a hand (and a mouth).

Tamales take some specialized ingredients.  They are made with a dough made from corn flour that has been treated with lime, known as masa harina (masa is Spanish for “dough”); they’re wrapped in soaked corn husks and then steamed on the stove.  Masa and corn husks are both easily found here in Austin in the baking ingredients aisles of most grocery stores; ours, in fact, even has a store brand of masa.  This same flour is used to make corn tortillas, as well as lesser-known Latin foods like pupusas and arepas.  It’s also used to thicken chili or other Latin themed stews and soups.  So having a bit of masa around (best to keep it in the fridge or freezer) is a handy thing, and it’s about two dollars for a five-pound bag.  (For a flow chart on how corn becomes masa, check out the Wikipedia page.)  Corn husks, too, keep forever if wrapped well, and are cheap.

All you really need equipment-wise is a big stock pot with a steamer insert, but I couldn’t find my little metal steamer basket so I went ahead and bought a genuine tamale pot, which has a removable steamer bottom and runs about ten to twelve dollars. The pot can be used for soups and stews and stocks as well, so it’s a definite multitasker, but if you already have a stock pot, just pay five bucks for a collapsible steamer basket and you’re good to go.

There are several steps to assembling tamales:

1. Put the corn husks in warm water (a lasagna pan or plastic bin works great) to soak for 20 minutes, so they’ll be pliable.
2. Make your filling and let it cool while you make your masa dough.
3. Make the dough.  Put the water in the pot on to boil.
4. Lay out a single corn husk.  Pat out about 2 tablespoons of masa dough onto the husk in a rectangle about 3″ by 4-5″.  You want the dough layer to be thick enough to cover the husk but not more than, say, 1/8″.
5. Spoon a bit of filling over the dough, no more than 1 tablespoon’s worth.
6. Slowly and carefully wrap the husk around the dough, closing the masa over the filling and then folding the ends toward the middle.  Use a strip of husk or kitchen twine to tie the tamale shut.  Bundle 5-6 together and stand them on end in the steamer basket.
7. When the steamer basket is full, lower it into the pot.  You don’t want the water to touch the tamales; keep it about 1/2″ below the steamer’s bottom.  You’ll need to add water periodically, because the tamales take about an hour (mine took 1:15) to steam.
8. Allow to cool, then consume in mass quantities.  And please don’t eat the husk.  It’s just a wrapper.  Compost it.

There are much more precise instructions out there on the internet, as well as in Terry’s lovely book, but I just wanted to give the gist. Sound like a lot of work?  Well, it IS.  If you want to undertake such an operation enlist the help of a couple of friends.  Bribe them with Dos Equis and tamales.   As far as the recipes themselves:

Masa

(Makes enough for about four dozen tamales…and yes, they freeze well)

5 cups masa harina

3/4 cup vegetable shortening (I prefer Earth Balance)
3/4 cup vegan butter substitute (again, EB)
1 carton vegetable broth, warmed
3 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt
2 tsp garlic powder

1 ~ Cream the shortening and butter together, then add in everything else and beat until a mashed-potato sort of consistency is formed.  Use right away.

Vegan Black Bean Tamale Filling, The Cheater Way

(Makes enough to use up all that masa and leave you with about 1/2 cup of filling to eat with chips later)

2 cans refried black beans (the kind I bought had roasted red jalapenos already in them)
1 onion, chopped finely
1 bell pepper, chopped finely (I used a pre-frozen roasted bell pepper mix and chopped it smaller)
1 tablespoon cumin
1 tsp salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons tomato paste

1 ~ Saute the onion and pepper in oil until soft.  When the onion is translucent add in the cumin and salt and stir to coat.  Let cook for 3 minutes.

2 ~ Add the beans and tomato paste.  Cook until the beans are hot through.  Taste for additional seasoning.   I am a total wuss when it comes to heat, so you might want to add a chopped canned chipotle pepper in adobo sauce to spice it up.

For a more visual and less articulate version of the assembly instructions, see the following highly professional illustration.

You may not have known this, but: if you love a dish at a restaurant and email the chef or proprietor, it’s entirely likely they’ll send you the recipe for it.  Often there are copycat recipes online for popular items at the big chains, like Chipotle’s Cilantro Lime Rice (I use a copycat recipe and it’s every bit as good as the original), but at local places the chefs are often happy to share–that’s been my observation, anyway.  I’m sure there are plenty of chefs who guard their secrets like magicians.  But it never hurts to ask.

When I emailed one of my favorite eateries, Tarka Indian Kitchen, to praise and ask for more details on what was in their Madras Soup, I was delighted to receive the actual recipe…which makes about five gallons of soup.  As I lack the equipment or freezer space necessary to deal with that much soup, I sat down with a scratch pad and scaled it down to a more manageable single gallon, which fits comfortably in the average 6qt pot (I use a 4qt, actually, and it was a big snug, but I didn’t feel like climbing the step ladder to haul down the Big Soup Pot o’Doom).

Madras Soup is a curried tomato coconut soup with red lentils, and the ingredients list is very similar to my Beautiful Dhal; it differs in significant ways, however, such as the addition of coconut milk and the end step of blending the soup to a creamy consistency.  It’s a warming, comforting brew, perhaps not as complex as the dhal, but also requires far less chopping.  When I eat it at Tarka I always order a bowl with an order of vegetable pakoras on the side, and it’s one of my favorite meals.

Having made my version of the soup, I have to say that it’s damn tasty, but I don’t think it’ll stop me from ordering the restaurant version; I made a number of alterations in addition to scaling down the size, because since I’m not an Indian restaurant and don’t buy fresh curry leaves every day, I have to make do with a more easily accessible pantry.  At any rate, it’s delicious, and I hope you enjoy it.

West of Madras Soup

What You’ll Need:

A:

1 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 tablespoon mustard seeds
1 1/2 tablespoon coriander seeds

B:

1/3 c canola oil
10 minced cloves garlic
2 whole onions, diced (yellow or white is fine)

C:

1 tablespoon turmeric
2 tablespoons curry powder
1 tablespoon salt

D:

1 1/3 c red lentils, rinsed and picked over for pebbles and bum lentils
1 can diced tomatoes, undrained
2/3 c fresh curry leaves (or 1/3 c dried)**
1 qt box vegetable broth (low or no salt, please)
2 c water

2 cans light coconut milk
juice of one lime

Let’s Get it On:

1 ~ Toast (A) over medium-low heat in a small, dry skillet for a couple of minutes, until the mustard seeds start popping.  Allow to cool completely, then run through a spice grinder until you achieve a fine powder.  Yes, you could just use ground spices and add them into (C), but seriously, dry-frying makes an important difference in the final flavor, and is one of the most important cooking techniques in Indian cuisine.  Trust me, it’s not hard.  Just go slowly and don’t burn them.

2 ~ Saute (B) until the garlic starts to turn golden brown and the onion becomes translucent.  Then add (C) as well as the ground spices.  Cook the whole mess together for about five minutes, stirring constantly, until you have a yellowy oniony mess of fabulousness and your whole house is perfumed.

3 ~ Add (D).  Bring to a boil, then lower the heat, cover, and simmer for one hour.  You want the soup to get nice and thick, so after the first 30 minutes take the lid off to allow some evaporation.

4 ~ Hit it with a stick!  Armed with your trusty stick blender (you do have one, don’t you? Link goes to the one I use) blend the soup in the pot until it’s thoroughly pureed.  If you don’t have a stick blender, puree the soup in batches in a regular blender, but let it cool first so it doesn’t go explodey all over your kitchen.  Then stir in the two cans of coconut milk and the lime juice.  Add salt and pepper to taste (you almost certainly will need to).

You can of course serve as-is, as a first course or with a salad or sandwich for a tasty lunch; you could also use it as a curry sauce over vegetables and rice, or simply pour the soup over some cooked basmati rice to make it more substantial.  Like most soups it freezes beautifully, and this recipe makes a full pot’s worth, so you’ll either need to freeze some or make more friends.

This soup is warming but not spicy; if you prefer a bite, add some chili powder in step 2, or grind a dried red chili along with the toasted spices.  It’s also not meant to be a low fat soup, although using light coconut milk cuts down on the fat considerably and doesn’t affect the flavor very much.  Even with the fat, however, it’s very nourishing; red lentils are chock full of protein, and the spices gently stimulate digestion and circulation.

** – A word about curry leaves:  Curry powder and curry (or kari) leaves are NOT the same thing.  Curry powder is essentially a British invention from the era of Indian occupation; most cooks in India create their own spice blends on the fly and vary them at every meal, though particular combinations are passed down through  families to create a signature flavor.  Curry powder can be really useful in recipes like this one, or any time you’re making “curry in a hurry,” but try to get a good brand that hasn’t been sitting on the shelf for a hundred years.

Curry leaves come from a small tropical tree and are heavily used in Southern India, especially in dishes with coconut milk.  Fresh is best, but hard to come by, and they don’t keep well in that form; if you’re near an Indian market you’re a lucky soul.  I use dried, which I bought online, and while the flavor and aroma aren’t nearly as heavenly, they still add delicious taste to this soup.  If you can’t get any form of curry leaf, leave them out of the recipe and throw in a couple of dried bay leaves (please remove them before you puree the soup, though).

Behold the Spears of Destiny!

Once upon a time, I was utterly grossed out by the Smelly Green Veggie Group. I grew up in a world where broccoli was boiled until grey and covered in Velveeta, and asparagus…well, it came out of cans.  My mom was, and is, an excellent cook, but the value of fresh veggies cooked just enough had yet to really settle into the public consciousness, and canned foods were still king. As far as I was concerned “vegetables” were canned corn, green beans, and peas.

In my late teens we started experimenting with the new crop of frozen mixed veggie dinners that you added meats to, which are now all over the place but were then quite a novelty. My first exposure to teriyaki sauce came in the form of a Create-a-Meal package that contained broccoli, water chestnuts, peppers, onions, and carrots.

Thanks to Mom’s willingness to try this pseudo-Asian chow, I realized that I loved the hell out of broccoli.  It’s still one of my favorite vegetables, which is a good thing, as broccoli is full of the same nutrients found in leafy greens, which I despise.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve made a point to periodically try foods I don’t like, just to make sure that the Broccoli Phenomenon isn’t in effect for them as well–some foods just aren’t all that great unless they’re prepared certain ways.  Tofu, for example. There are a zillion ways to screw up tofu, and several ways to make it awesome.

About a year ago I applied the same “what the hell” principle to another Smelly Green Veggie: asparagus. I took the advice of the Veganomicon and dispensed with steamers and grilling, and went straight to one of my favorite vegetable preparations…oven roasting.

All I can really say about that is, OMG.

Since right now asparagus is on sale at my local market, I’ve had it at four meals in the last two weeks and am basically sick of it, but I wanted to share the basic recipe for this lovely, nutty, crazy nutritious veg that has the added advantage of making your pee stink to high heaven.

And really, doesn’t love having stinky pee?*

When you buy asparagus I recommend going for thinner shoots, which are more tender–a general rule of thumb for veggies is that larger specimens don’t have as much flavor. I usually cook mine the same night I buy it, but if you can’t, store it upright in about an inch of water in your fridge, as if it were cut flowers (I do the same with fresh herbs and they last much longer). Wash it thoroughly and trim off the woody bits–take one spear and break it where it naturally snaps, then cut the rest to about the same length, and you’ll have more uniform cooking. Roasting asparagus, as opposed to steaming or grilling, brings out an amazing texture and pumps up the flavors (as it does with most veggies).

Oven-Roasted Asparagus of Love

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

What You Need:

• 1 pound (1 bunch) asparagus, trimmed
• 2 teaspoons or so extra-virgin olive oil
• kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Let’s Get it On:

1 ~ Lightly coat a baking pan (sides are a good idea, since it likes to roll) with cooking spray.

2 ~ After washing and trimming the asparagus, drizzle olive oil over it. The measurement is really up to you; you want it coated but not drippy, and you can get away with a fairly small amount if you really, really care about that kind of thing. Sprinkle salt and pepper over the asparagus, then toss to coat (use tongs if you like).

3 ~ Lay the asparagus out on the pan in a single layer.  You could also do up some wee potatoes if you like and bake in the same pan, but bake them separately for 20 minutes first, then take them out, fill up the space with asparagus, and go forth. Pop the pan in the oven and leave it for 15-20 minutes. The tips will be a bit brown and the spears will be slightly crinkled.

4 ~  Consume in mass quantities.

Roasted asparagus goes with all sorts of meals, and it really likes being paired with earthy things like potatoes and Portabello mushrooms.  It also appreciates nuts, particularly pine nuts or slivered almonds sprinkled over top (after roasting). You can add herbs to the mix if you like, to tailor the flavor to whatever sort of cuisine you’re preparing; I sometimes hit mine with an Italian seasoning blend I have that came in a grinder.

I eat asparagus with my fingers, just so you know. I imagine most people cut it and eat it with a fork.

* – Asparapee is caused by natural chemicals  in the vegetable such as methanethiol and dimethyl sulfide, which break down into sulfur compounds. What’s really interesting about it is that while pretty much everybody’s asparapee is smelly, only about 22% of people can actually smell it.

Happy Birthday Starrbella!

I’ve decided to start keeping track of my cupcakey creations, and for some reason felt inspired to give them names.  As I’ve said, I’m an awful photographer (partly due to my camera and partly due to the tremors in my hands), but I hope to enlist my BFF Laura to capture all the sweetness, as she has done beautifully with these.

Starrbellas, designed for my dear friend Debi’s birthday, are an intense and rich combination of dark mocha cake, cream cheese frosting, purple sugar, and candy stars and spirals.

The candy decorations aren’t vegan–they’re made with Wilton’s candy wafers, melted in the microwave, (half tinted with violet, half left white) and then piped onto parchment paper in star and spiral shapes.  After the shapes have hardened (about an hour) you can just peel them off the paper, but they’re very delicate, so it’s best to anchor them deeply into the cake (or lay them flat on the cupcake’s top for the best stability).  It was my first attempt at using candy wafers, and it turned out very well, in my opinion.  Luckily I don’t like white chocolate so I just plucked the stars from my cake and gave them to the birthday girl.

Dark Mocha Cupcakes

(Preheat oven to 350 and line 12 muffin tins with silver foil liners.)

What You Need:

A:
1 c almond milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

B:
3/4 c sugar
1/3 c vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp coffee extract
2 tablespoons instant espresso powder

C:
1 c flour
1/3 c Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder (or regular)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Let’s Get it On:

1 ~ Whisk (A) in a large mixing bowl and set aside a minute so it has a chance to curdle.  (You’re basically making fake buttermilk, which will help leaven and tenderize the cakes in the absence of eggs.)  Add (B) and beat until nice and foamy.  The espresso powder may not fully dissolve; that’s okay.

2 ~ Sift (C ) into the bowl and stir until no large lumps are left.  I use a whisk for this.  Start out gently so you don’t fling flour everywhere.

3 ~ Using an ice cream scoop dole out the batter into the muffin tin, filling each about 3/4 full.  Bake 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the middle cake comes out clean.  Remove cakes from pan and let cool in their liners on a cooling rack.  Don’t attempt to decorate until they’re completely cool!

You want us.

Cream “Cheese” Frosting

I make a big batch because I have a free hand with the frosting, but if you want to just spread it on instead of piping it, cut the amounts in half (unless you want to eat the remainder with a spoon).

What You Need:

1/2 c margarine, at room temperature
1/2 c vegan cream cheese at room temperature
4 c confectioner’s sugar (amount may vary slightly)
2 tsp vanilla extract (if you don’t care about the color you could replace half with coffee extract)

Let’s Get it On:

1 ~ Beat the margarine and cheese together until smooth.  Add the sugar in 1/2 cup batches; once you get to 3 1/2 cups use smaller amounts and stop when you have the consistency you want.  Beat in the extract.

Store the frosting in the fridge, but if it’s chilled, allow to sit for 10 minutes and then stir vigorously before using.

Assembly is pretty straightforward.  Using a big star tip, pipe a swirl of frosting onto the top of each cupcake.  Sprinkle with purple decorating sugar, then gently press two or three candy stars into the top of each cupcake.  Keep cool until ready to serve.  If you plan to transport them either use a cupcake courier or make sure your container is tall enough not to squish the stars.

I think next time I make these I’ll use fondant, which can be purchased already vegan (Wilton’s is), or possibly gum paste. They won’t taste as good as the candy wafers (for those who like them, blech), but they won’t contain milk.  Regardless, these turned out beautifully and got rave reviews.