That title sure does sound life-coachy, doesn’t it?
Trust me, I’m nobody’s coach. I’m not a role model, not a leader. I’ve been those things and I wasn’t very good at them. I’m a woman who screws up utterly on a regular basis and has more issues than Reader’s Digest. What I do well, however, is turn those issues into something other people can use – my misadventures become something of a crack-addled GPS for people’s lives.
In 500 yards, turn left on Bipolar Blvd. Take the feeder road onto Existential Crisis Tollway. Head north toward Poisonous Envy, Texas. Bypass Commitment Crossing.
Perhaps it’s foolish to try and think my way out of a depressive cycle, but the last med I tried made me horribly ill, and in begging my shrink to just let me stay on Wellbutrin by itself until our next appointment, I left a large part of my brain undefended. But I’m so tired…so very tired…of trying new meds, going into the whole routine all over again. Side effects, worsening, then letting up; hope building, sometimes even convincing me this particular cocktail will be viable for a while…until it isn’t anymore, and here we are again. This, you see, is what kills us: not the depths of despair we find and are unable to dig out of. What kills us is having to do it over and over and over again with no real assurance it will ever be any different.
I’ve been on this same bipolarcoaster since 2004 when, after my brother killed himself, A single gunshot two hundred miles away from me managed to blow holes in my entire life. I’m still dealing with the fallout from that.
At any rate, as I was pondering a long list of questions whose answers have eluded me, I thought to myself, “I could make this prettier, and maybe other people could make it useful too.”
So, here we are – a single sheet download to help you think about any of those long-term goals you were hella excited about in January but have lost your zeal for now in July. Consider the questions on this sheet and ask yourself, can any of them be rephrased or reframed to make them resonate more with your spirit? So much of self-discovery is in the wording.
Take this and download it, print it, make copies, share them – just don’t get money for them and we’re square.. I hope if nothing else my design sense can help somebody out there get her shit together.