You may have noticed that January is half over and no Book 8 has emerged.
I promise I’m not trying to be coy, or build suspense, and I’m not going to be that Thrones fella who never finishes his series. The final Shadow World book is coming, but I cannot at this time give you a firm release date. Again I apologize. I fully intended to finish the book in the last months of 2023. That was the plan and I believed I could do it, but it turns out I couldn’t.
I’m going to level with you here, and I am not in any way trying to draw sympathy. I just want you to know what’s been going on so hopefully you can forgive my flakiness and continue to humor me.
Honestly I feel like I’ve forgotten how to write. The last few years have been hell on my creativity and confidence. I am working to regain those things. To write like I do, I really have to be deeply involved in my characters and feel the hot flush of my work. I need to cry when something sad happens and feel the prickles up and down my arms that I feel when I’ve “caught” a scene. It’s a feeling of rightness; it’s not always pleasant, but it’s right. When I feel that I know I’m doing what I’m made to do.
Let me tell you, disillusionment and unremitting major depressive disorder were not in my plan when I was young and knew, just KNEW, I’d be a “famous author” one day. (Whatever that even means.) I’m good at what I do. I know that. But being a good writer is meaningless if you don’t, well, WRITE.
I finished Shadow Rising by the skin of my teeth in terms of the emotional energy I had to work with. The last few years have wrung me out.
I have put so much of myself into these novels–I poured my heart into Queen of Shadows, and throughout the series I have fed my despair, sadness, hope, and belief into the characters. Nothing that Miranda feels is something I have not felt. I hope that it shows! I’ve always believed emotional honesty is key to characters that feel “alive.” The problem is, I only have so much fuel. I have had very little to give my beloved world in the last few years. It’s all been devoted to, and this is not an exaggeration, staying alive, and to some extent functional.
It’s also possible that I’m afraid. Once the last book is written, the Shadow World series is over. Not to say that I’d never revisit it, especially in short story form like Met by Midnight, but a whole era of my life would be concluded, for better or for worse. It may turn out to be the end of me as a writer.
I know that’s not true, or at least it doesn’t have to be. Neither does my fear that having given so much to the SW series I won’t ever be able to do it again. How do you invest so much in a world and the people in it and just…move on? I have no idea. I don’t know how other authors do it. Think of any fictional world that you’ve truly loved and think about what the author did next. I bet it wasn’t all that great, and if they came up with something else just as immersive that affected people as strongly as the first one…how the hell did they do it? I have no idea. I’m scared to find out. I’m sure part of my psyche was like, “well…let’s just never finish!”
Like I said, I’m working on all of this. My Word of the Year for 2024 is “rekindle,” specifically bringing life back to those parts of me that seem to have died out. Wish me luck. More than that, wish me a spark.
Now that you’ve written something in 2024, you need to update your copyright date .
I wish I could find the words to help you!! Do not worry about us, we will still be here whenener/if ever you decide to write the last chapter of this marvelous story! Just so you know how much I love it, I will soon have to buy the books again as some pages are falling off from too many reads 😉 take care Dianne.
Sincerely,
Melanie
For me tho the series will be done, all I have to do is start at the beginning. The shadow series saved my life in 2017 and 2018 when I was hospitalized twice for wanting to commit suicide. I felt I had no one who would understand or even believe the things going on in my head. Miranda made me feel like she was the best friend everyone hopes to have in their life. She was a fighter and I felt she showed and told me how I could fight but also I could be strong. I just wanted to let you know the impact you have had on my life. I will be forever grateful to you and to your shadow world series. Thank You!
Thank you so much for saying this. It really does mean a lot.
I have only read one of your books so far. I look forward to reading more of them so many blessings for you to rekindle your spark
Fans of the Dresden Files series had to wait six years at one point for the next book. We craved that next book, but we knew Jim Butcher is only human and is at the mercy of his (stressed) brain. So are you, and that is okay.
I’m an author with depression as well, and this really resonated with me, especially the ‘forgetting how to write’ part. For two years, I wrote nothing. I just slipped over the edge of the path I was on (I’d just written three books and loved every minute) and just…slid down. You know the feeling, I’m sure, when you feel you’re slipping and are helpless to stop it. But two years passed and then I saw a prompt on Reddit and my brain went, “I think…I think I want to write something for this.” And after two excruciating years of not being able to write, I finally did again. And then I wrote another story, and another. That was a year ago and I’ve been writing ever since. Maybe I’ll have another dry spell, but writing is a part of who I am and it wasn’t just going to disappear forever.
I and the rest of your fans will wait as long as we have to. It takes as long as it takes. Depression is a relentless bitch, but if you forgot how to write, you can remember again at some point in the future. Don’t force it, don’t punish yourself. We’re all at the mercy of our brains. You’ve written seven wonderful books in this series and so logically, after your struggling with it, the eighth will come eventually.
Many hugs,
Karen
I am living in the Shadow world books right now. Please take care of yourself first and foremost. I have no clue if you’ll see this or not, since this posting is from January. I just wanted to tell you that I have felt so much understanding inside your words. I’m a panroace cis woman with a cishet bf who is so understanding of all the crap in my head. He’s got his own nightmares and demons and we deal with them together. I developed a severe chronic pain disorder about 10 years ago and my life went to hell. Pain from a lifetime of injuries built up from congenital hypermobility suddenly burst into being everywhere, all the time multiplied by ten. No two days the same so you can’t really prepare for it. I came very close to ending everything a few times. You rapidly lose your will to fight with the constant, never ending pain. I couldn’t have made it without him. It’s funny, we’d only been together for 6 months when I got sick. He stayed. I got lost in a flood of patched up mental illnesses that broke the patch. Major depressive disorder, suicidal ideation, panic, gad, ptsd, severe ADHD, social phobia (slowly morphed into agoraphobia). I’m a mess. I don’t have 700+ years of tragedy, but I really feel like I empathize with Devin. A human version… so Devin-lite? Lol
Also, I used to write. Nothing special, and my ADHD rarely allowed me to finish anything, but I was good at it. People really liked my beginnings of books and I believe they could have been really great…. if I hadn’t gotten inside my own head and actually managed to finish something. I overthought and picked everything apart until I literally lost touch with the world I was building. It was devastating the day I sat down at my computer and realized I just didn’t connect with anything anymore.
You can’t do that. You have an amazing gift and you’ve created a world that touches broken people.
I’ll be rereading these novels and diving back into the world repeatedly. Don’t let you get in your way.
I’m definitely not presuming to know your life and I’m mainly babbling because I think you are amazing. (fangirl squee? I’m too old to know if that’s even not gross lmao)
Also, you looked incredibly familiar to me and I could swear I’d seen you somewhere. I showed my bf and he laughed in disbelief and said you looked like me! Lol I realize what I was seeing was actually an incredible resemblance. You’re much prettier and my hair is long, but you could be my younger sister! (I’m 51 so old).
Anyway, sorry for the babblefest but I really just wanted to fangirl a moment and I read that you were struggling to finish the shadow world, MDD is no fun and definitely no friend to creatures of creativity. I just want you to know that without your story of Devin and his damage and so many people surrounding him and loving him…and that so descriptive way of describing the soul bonds and the webs and strands that weave us all together, I’d still be feeling misunderstood and unseen. I’ve always craved connection even though I fear it. My damage is definitely not what needs to be shared, though lol.
Anyway, if you made it this far, sorry for the big old ramble, if you’re drooling into your keyboard, I’m done, you can wake up now 😊! Thank you so much for this series. You can tell that you’ve poured heart and soul into these works and you made them amazing!
Hugs (if they’re OK)
Nixy Rose 🌻
Whatever comes, those of us whose lives have been impacted by you and your work will be here, grateful for the gifts you’ve given us through your writing, your crafting (and Crafting), and your openness in all your struggles.
If there’s ever anything we can do for you, I hope you’ll feel like you can ask. I’d be there in a heartbeat, and I know I’m not the only person who feels that way.
It will take me a while to get through your books, just finished the third installment, i write a few stort stories on occasion myself lol, i don’t mind if you take your time that’s what makes a good writer i enjoy reading more stories 😍
~ sincerely
Megan