I find myself contemplating the second half of 2020, and aside from “What’s next, space monkeys? A plague of frogs? War with Finland? Another Minions movie? …oh goddamn it,” I am considering how my priorities have changed in the last six months.
I look back at my January 2020 goal-setting and I laugh and laugh and laugh. I mean who hasn’t thought, “This is going to be my year, I’m going to get my poop in a group and make big changes and accomplish A-Z and really do better at all my everything!” at the start of every year of their adult lives? But 2020…wow, y’all.
I had, on my list, things like finishing the novel I was working on and getting a second book underway. I planned to increase my income by a certain amount, finally get that yoga practice going, etc. And while in theory I could finish a book during quarantine, let’s be honest here: This has not been a productive time just because it’s been a non-busy time. Our brains and hearts are working extra hard dealing with all of this even if we haven’t had to take on extra responsibilities for our families or jobs.
I think it’s important to have goals even now – not big life things necessarily but just something to strive for, something to help keep you anchored in your life. But those goals don’t exist in a vacuum. What’s going on out there will absolutely affect what we can accomplish in here.
I ask myself, what do I want to nurture in my life for the rest of the year? What do I need more of right now? And then, what’s a small thing I could add to my day that would help nudge me toward that? For my longer-term big goals, picking some wee aspect to chip away at could mean progress without overwhelm.
Overwhelm is a thing I’ve come to understand on a new level in the last few months. The continuous onslaught on my mental health coming from the outside world has lowered the amount of energy I have available. I have to respect that and not pretend I’m going to feel “normal” again any time soon. 2020-life depression might just be a new way my depression manifests itself that I have to learn how to live with. (Thanks, America.)
All of that in mind, and considering my original goals, I’ve decided to take a massive dose of Phucumol (talk to your doctor today!) and, with a mighty YEET!, toss them all and start from scratch.
There are three smallish things I want to do/start doing:
- Eat a little more healthfully, specifically not ordering out all the time but eating actual home-cooked food with vegetables in it that aren’t potatoes, and maybe drinking some actual water? Cutting back on the deliveries will be good for my budget too.
- Move. Just a little. I really really want to figure out a way to get myself on the yoga mat, even for five minutes at a time. I have plenty of resources and a good chunk of time in the afternoon after work I could use, I just…haven’t.
- Write. Creative outlets are very important to me in general, but now especially. I do want to keep blogging, but I also want to pick a larger project and stick with it for a while. I haven’t decided which project that will be just yet.
Eat, move, write. That doesn’t sound so insurmountable. They’re all things I can still do while the world is a giant tire fire.
What are your tire-fire goals?